Paint It Black
by TaralovesWillow
Summary: Willow takes Tara's death a little too far. And it's too late to stop her. Literally.


TG13:"Hi there everyone! I had this song stuck in my head for weeks! And I just HAVE to write a fic to about it! I don't own any one of the song! Flame me if u want! I don't bite. That hard. *smiles* Enjoy!"  
  
Song done in ~  
  
Paint it Black  
  
~I see a red door and I want it painted black~  
  
Willow sat at a bar, in the packed Bronze. She tried for months to get back to the cheerful, bright, smart, and funny Will that she once was. She knew that was never going to happen. Never. Tara was dead.  
  
Gone.  
  
She wasn't Willow's girlfriend any more. Wasn't anything of Willow's.  
  
Nothing  
  
She belong to the Earth now.  
  
~ no colors anymore, I want them to turn black ~  
  
She looked down at her cloths.  
  
Black.  
  
That's the only thing she's been wearing lately. The only thing she had taste in.  
  
No need for bright colors anymore.  
  
~ I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes  
  
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes ~  
  
Giving up on trying to have a good time she got up and walked out.  
  
It was so hard to go anywhere and have a good time any more.  
  
Buffy's house was just the same.  
  
~ I see a line of cars and they are painted black  
  
with flowers and my love both never to come back ~  
  
She entered Buffy's house quietly.  
  
Funny. She never referred to the house she and Tara shared for a little while as her home. At least no anymore.  
  
Stepping into the living room. She saw Dawn.  
  
~ I see people turn their heads and quickly look away  
  
like a new born baby it just happens every day ~  
  
They met eyes for a minute then turned away. "Dawnie." Willow said but was interrupted. "Save it Willow." She said coldly and walked out of the room. Willow sighed. She and Dawn don't speak or look at each other that long. Maybe it's because they remind each other of Tara.  
  
She walked into the kitchen to see Buffy sitting at the table drinking tea. Probably, it was a way of keeping Giles around.  
  
"Hi Willow." Buffy said planly. Her Buffy barely talked as it was. Just a hi and how're you doing. Hell, if they were lucky they might actually say a full sentence.  
  
"Hey." Was all Willow said before walking out the back door. She never felt welcomed around Buffy, Dawn, Xander, or even Spike any more. It was dark without Tara.  
  
~ I look inside myself and see my heart is black  
  
I see my red door and it's heading into black ~  
  
She walked through the cemetery looking at the headstones. This is where she spent most of her spare time. Not just because Tara was buried here.  
  
She winced at the mention of it.  
  
Tara. Buried. Here. In the ground. Six feet deep.  
  
It was still very hard for her to grasp that Tara was dead. Sure she could say it. Not out loud. Just to her self. She would often reach over on her bed during the night, excepting to feel another body.  
  
~ maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts  
  
it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black ~  
  
She kneeled by Tara's grave. "Tara. It's me, baby. I came by to say hi.again." Willow ran her hand on the grave. "I miss you. You don't know how hard it is now. Dawn would look at me. Buffy won't speak to me. Xander tries but he doesn't try hard enough."  
  
~ I wanna see it painted painted, painted black, oh baby  
  
I wanna see it painted painted, painted black, oh baby ~  
  
"It's so hard without you, baby. Everyday is like getting through a battle. Only to wake up and fight it all over again. I don't want to fight it anymore. I want to be at peace. Why can't anyone see it? Why Tara? Oh, god. I don't understand. I-I don't understand how you can be at the top of your life one minute and be in hell the next. I don't. Things were so clear when you were here. Now they're so blurry. It hurts to even breathe any more! God, Tara! I miss you so much."  
  
~ No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue  
  
I could not foresee this thing happening to you ~  
  
She walked on the hill. The hill were she could have ended it all.  
  
~ If I look hard enough into the setting sun my love will laugh with me before the morning comes ~  
  
Only a little while till dark. Dark brought out the demons, the vampires and other hellish things.  
  
She could have killed all those things along with other people a few months ago.  
  
~I wanna see it painted, painted black, oh black as night, black as coal. ~  
  
Willow stepped forward to the edge. Sun reflecting on her tears.  
  
~I wanna see the sun blotted from the sky ~  
  
Her sun was gone forever. Her shining sun. No longer here with her like it should be.  
  
"Tara." She cried out in a small voice.  
  
~ painted, painted, painted black oh baby ~  
  
She held her arms out and took one last look at the sun.  
  
"Tara! I'm coming, baby. I'm coming to be with you. Forever." The last word was a whisper.  
  
She then leaned over the edge face first. Letting her body fall.  
  
Then saw black.  
  
~ painted painted, painted black ~ 


End file.
